When big life choices are made to get out of easy, cozy, comfort zones, the world pauses for a moment in bewilderment and envy. To them, it is as if I woke up yesterday deciding to turn my life upside down.
My co-worker says to me at my goodbye party, “Aimee you live life the way we all wish we were brave enough to”. The part she didn’t see was the million times before this moment, that I wasn’t brave.
The process to life changing events is often birthed out of the most tremendous, uncomfortable, pain. It’s sitting in all the things we try to hush. It is honoring the ugly, the scary, the sadness, and all of the undesirable feelings and issues we busy our lives to ignore. It is there, that we plant the seeds of change, and sit in the dirt.
I sat in the dirt for years. I am sitting in the dirt, sprouting, about to bloom, now. I am still sitting in the pain, while feeling the freedom of breaking through the earth. It is only through my faith in God, have I survived this planting, and only with His grace, will I fully bloom into what He has called upon me.
I still don’t have all the answers when people ask. I certainly don’t have a timeline or guarantee. What I do have is the knowing, which is priceless. The knowing, I only gained by slaying the dragons I buried deep within, prayed countless amounts of hours, and accepted who I am wholly.
I have vowed, now at age 42, that I will never stand between me and my calling. I will never accept being “almost” successful, or second guessing who I am. Freedom lies only when you allow yourself to be free.
It is literally a choice. A bold, brave, choice.
Sit in it and do the work. Or live numb beneath what you are capable and meant to do.
If you dare to choose you, I will be in the garden blooming, waiting for you to join me.
seekingup
Seeking Up 
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