Archive for February, 2012

Thoughts Of Whitney

For those of you who have found me recently, you may not know of the life I led prior to my current one. Before becoming a Mom, I was a professional living in New York City. Many of these years consisted of helping people through their addiction. I was a social worker for many years working in a major drug rehab in the city. I encountered all walks of life there, and learned quite early on how misunderstood addiction is in our society. I can tell you quite confidently with my background, being an addict isn’t something someone chooses to be. It is a disease that does not see boundaries, and takes over (and sadly sometimes away) lives.

I was recently reading twitter in the wake of Whitney Houston’s passing and was highly disturbed by some celebrities responses to her death. In particular, two well-known names that struggled with addictions of their own. They implied she deserved to die because she choose this path for herself. This saddened me. That even recovering addicts can not see the disease for what it is, never mind the greater society. It is like telling someone dying of lung cancer that they did it to themselves for smoking all those years, so you made your bed now lay in it.

The problem with our society is we put celebrities in contexts that they are unable to fulfill. We idolize them, and forget they are only human too. The moment people learn that they have faults their once loyalty can often turn to scrutiny. The part often lost is judgement is we are all connected. Her soul no different than ours. She entered this world the same way, and went out the same.She dealt with her own life review, and barred her own cross.

Addiction could care less what your name is, how much money you make, or where you are from. We had our share of celebrities come through our rehab since it was in the hub of Manhattan. One in particular came in and offered more money, and used the “do you know who I am” as a way of trying to rationalize why we should make him better-quicker then all the rest. As if recovery cares you can pay extra or have a very public name. It doesn’t. I see that celebrity still struggling, while some of my other patients who once were homeless, are now drug-free and being productive again.

Nobody who is sick deserves to be noted as deserving an ill fate. Addiction is ugly and misunderstood. It needs to be treated more like cancer, and less like a choice of a job. We need to hold those that struggle with this in the arms of mercy, as we would any other sick individual.

The part I love about Whitney’s story is what she knew in heart in the days prior to her death. Ironically, when I found out of her passing and there was little to no information, I posted my favorite song of hers on my Facebook account. Her music was such a huge part of my childhood and you would have thought I choose one of her hits. I posted her Bodyguard soundtrack version of “Jesus Loves Me”. Not for any other reason then the fact her singing it spoke to my soul. The day after her death I learned it was also the last song she ever sang publicly. Days after that, we are finding out she told friends she believed she would meet Jesus soon, and that her end was near. A belief I have always had; told yet again. Our soul often knows when our times running out.¬†In high school a boy I had a crush on died suddenly. His parents later told me that the week prior he was telling his Mother how he wanted to be buried someday. This opened up an unexpected and oddly appropriate conversation for days to come. He never told her he knew he was dying, but he knew.

Whitney Houston did not die from addiction even if it played a part in her death. Her purpose here was finished. She completed what she was meant to do, and now she is in the place we all long to be. A place we are all stars in.


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Pro God

Today as I entered my fantastic doctors office I ran into some very angry folks. They held up signs in my face that said “Baby Killer” . They uttered hateful chants in Gods name. They looked at me with judgemental eyes.

It knocked the wind out of me. So I quietly prayed for them. In hopes they dig a little deeper and truly find God’s love. God’s words are not of hateful judgement. Plus, I was going in for prenatal care for a baby I plan to KEEP. Yet greeted with such haste. It made me angry.

Yes I am sure the office I go to offer abortions. They also offer midwife care, and breast-feeding classes. They do extra ultrasounds on worried mothers, and comfort those in the loss of miscarriage. They also help with IVF and prescribe drugs to make a person ovulate. And this gets me thinking… where are THOSE picketers. You know the people who are against science messing with God’s will.

This may sound like a Pro Choice post. It is not. This post is not Pro Choice or Pro Life. It is Pro God. May you leave your judgements behind.

In the name of God there is a lot of pointing fingers. People disagree with the way to bury the dead, baptize babies, fertility treatments, life support, the death penalty, and the list goes on and on.

Thankfully there aren’t picketers yelling hurtful things outside an ICU room with parents choosing life support for their sick child. Or telling a family that so badly wants babies and going for IVF that God doesn’t approve of this approach.

I just wish these people full of rage-filled¬†hate would rise above it. I wish, if they truly believed what someone was doing is wrong, that instead of picketing and yelling “baby killer” to each and every person walking into the building, that they instead got on their knees and prayed for them.

The only one who can pass judgement is God. If you are not Him, then you really need to seek out the true purpose on why you are doing such hateful things in His name.

I am excited to have this life that came to me unexpected. I am equally excited to share it with a bunch of doctors who have supported me through two children and a miscarriage. And it bothers me. These people watching me with judgement, knowing nothing about who I am, or about how outstanding this practice is. It bothers me most they claim to be doing the work of God.

I absolutely understand why people are Pro Life. It is a God-given miracle. I also understand why people are Pro Choice. Some people s horrible situations are things we can not imagine. I am neither Pro Life or Pro Choice. This isn’t accepted in our society. One must choose a side. However, I feel it isn’t my place to judge anyone else’s situation other than my own.

We are all human. We all make mistakes. We will all have a life review and feel the impact we made in this world with every choice we made, and word we utter. We are no better. We are no less. However, we are all children of God, and with that, we should all treat each other as such.

And so, on my prayer list tonight– nine angry picketers that accused me of being a baby killer today. And any women that stepped through that crowd and entered that office for an abortion today. BOTH need our prayers.

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