Archive for December, 2022

Honor thy lesson 2022

Honor thy body the Holy one gifted you:

I spent years of my life some time ago hypnotizing, starving my body to fit in an idealistic version of what the world reacted as beauty. The world rejoiced with compliments when inside I was empty, sad, lonely, and in the worst job of my life.  Beauty has nothing to do with fillers but Everything thing to do with the stories behind the fine lines. It has nothing to do with created barbie bodies, but everything to do with the babies I birthed through these rounded hips and infants cut out of this protruding stomach. That the ultimate beauty is the soul that I carry, regardless of my pant size. This includes never working for a “hot girl summer” body, but honoring the fact it is deserving to be loved as is. It includes rest when it is tired from a life long autoimmune disease diagnosed this past year and a brain that needs to be monitored.

 Honor the sacred highest vibrations in people, places, and things:

When you forget who you are, in a land you are new, it is easy to be swept up in things that are not rooted in your highest alignment. For as much as you wrestle it, remold it, rename it, it will never fit. Bless and release. After a few years of molding into a place/space moving far from the core of me, I realized this year I needed to return. Abandoning myself, my beliefs, my highest self- doesn’t serve anyone or anything thing. It just fills up time with a plastic version of who I am. Low vibrations only attract low vibrations. Be unwavering in who you are – no matter when you replant yourself. 

Honor thy gifts you have been given:

I swore I would never work in a school system again after experiencing such an insurmountable trauma from my last experience. I swallowed it as something being wrong with me. Returning to working in a middle school part time this year healed the part of me that a broken system made me feel so broke. It reminded me how valuable I am, respected, and needed. It reminded me that I wasn’t made for toxic systems but for supportive ones. It has solidified I was made for this, and was asked to consider full time in 2023 for a reason. I also have ushered in with great abundance my abilities to go deeper talking to people that have passed, healing people, and allowing my intuitiveness to serve.

Honor letting go of the version you thought would be different:

Sometimes our dreams we thought we wanted are not in fact in the cards. Perhaps they are remolded into something else just as beautiful, perhaps they were not meant for you all, perhaps the timing isn’t right. The important part to go on with is to never stop dreaming BUT to never stop living despite waiting for a dream to come true. If it is meant for you – it will come. If it’s not – there is a bigger reason- another lesson. Perhaps what you thought was a dream was the best version when really God has a bigger vision you haven’t thought of.

cheers to 2023 and all the lessons to come!


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I See You Sweet Girl

💜For anyone who read my Sandy Hook story earlier:
I don’t believe in coincidences… not with my long history to the story I posted earlier today. The bracelet message wasn’t the end of my connection with Catherine’s Mom Jenny. We continue to align in a God ordained way when it is essential for healing. Today I wanted to see the picture I had of Jenny and I at Catherine’s Butterfly party held in honor of her birthday every year. I put in “Newtown” in my search engine to my iPhone …. Up pops the picture Catherine made that was on the fridge with the lady bug like the bracelet!!!!!!!
I haven’t seen it since the day her mom shared it with me! In fact I didn’t even know my phone had saved it!
Love eachother with grace and a tender heart. Catherine has taught me never to second guess the gift God has given me nor to hold onto it as it just could be the one thing that can spark someone’s grieving heart to seek out more heavenly comforts 💜
Jenny, I hold you not only today but everyday in my heart. Always forever – mother to mother and with great honor and faithfulness. 🙌🏻

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Heaven Heals

(With permission from this Mother- a personal story I have never written about re: Sandy Hook)
A decade ago I had a vision in the wee hours before the day broke open, that was by far the most scariest vision my “gift” ever gave to me. Never did I expect for that vision to happen hours later mere miles down the road from me at a local school in a neighboring town- and CERTAINLY not to first graders. Instead of writing another somber tribute of the pain of living in that community endured. I am going to talk about a momentous heavenly healing moment my “gift” offered by God to a parent that lost her child that day who I hold so close to my heart.
I saw this mother on television being interviewed by Anderson Cooper miles down the road a day after the massacre. He brought up her unwavering faith and how she was devoted to teaching CCD. As I cried at her daughters story and her love for God, I heard the Lord speak clearly- “you will buy her an Alex and Ani bracelet”. I told God – “I’m not going out there to find her and be that person to bombard her in her unimaginable grief. If you want it to happen you must make it so”.
A few years later, around the anniversary, I was asked to speak about my heaven experience to my churches grief group. I knew two of the Sandy Hook moms would be there, but wasn’t sure who. I went in and sat across from this beautiful Momma I saw on tv years prior and quietly told the Lord “well done”. I told them my story and answered questions since I was in first grade myself when my experience happened. On the way out I told her if she needed to hear my story a thousand times I would tell her and if she needed a friend out in public, I am one(sadly the world treated these parents like local celebrities melting in grief being watched with provocative intrusive stares).
A few days later was the anniversary, she messaged me via Facebook and asked me details about my experience. We ended up making plans to meet up for coffee days later.
I was driving to the cafe to meet her, when I heard God tell me to go get the bracelet, as I passed by a local gift store. I went in and held one with Angel wings and asked God “is this the one?”. He answered clearly, “no the one beneath your hands”. The one beneath my hands wasn’t anything to do with faith, but I am very obedient and bought it.
When I got there I explained seeing her years before on television, my giftings, and handed her the box. She opened it up, the bracelet had the words “pathway hope sanctuary”, which couldn’t have been gifted at a better time. This beautiful Mom was designing the ultimate homage to her daughters love of animals, and opening an animal sanctuary in her name. We cried. I thought this was the miracle.
Then I got home and received a text saying “you are never going to believe this Aimee” with an attachment. A drawing that was up on the fridge in her home that her daughter drew, was extremely resemblant of the charm on the bracelet that looked like a lady bug of sorts.
This was how our connection made only by God began in our interwoven healing process.

The name of the bracelet is called “ The Way Home” – could there be a more God ordained bracelet made? Below is the description which is powerful and the pictures 💜

Product description by Alex + Ani
If you’ve heard the saying “home is where the heart is,” then you’re already halfway there. Resembling a scarab, the symbol of immortality, a shield, a tree, a horizon, and a heart, this symbol represents, literally, that love never loses its way home. Know that love is always present and you’ll never go astray.

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People & Paradise

It’s been a few years in this Paradise. A place with an endless warm breeze, the sun on your cheeks, and the sand between your toes. 

A dream backdrop to a life well lived. 

Over the years I have said out loud “I can’t believe I live here”. The beauty is breath taking and I can’t think of a day since I moved here and called it home, that I have taken its glorious beauty for granted – no not even during that horrible hurricane a few months back. Gods beauty of the environment has been the steady win for moving so far away.

The parts that didn’t quite adjust with so much glory and honor was finding myself: mind *body*soul, here in this new land. It is a melting pot of ever changing families also seeking to live life to its fullest in paradise. It lacks roots of longevity of a small town or familiarity with generations of a family name. This is impactful when it comes to peoples truths. Everyone loves the idea of reinventing themselves – sounds so “becoming” and rich in self help. Really – it’s a map of lost roads, a shell of who you are, and more of a chameleon than a human trying to identity in its new nature. Everything suddenly infiltrates you: others perspectives, others beliefs, material things, difference in education, parenting skills, cultural backgrounds, and the list goes on and on. Normally I am so rigid and refined in my beliefs – always the first to swim upstream against the crowd- I found myself abandoning myself and reinventing who I was.Reinventing not because I wanted to run from who I was, but because I had to assimilate to a foreign land. 

And today – I noticed at age 46 – I have in the past almost three years- only shared pieces of me – and only in the past six months returned to myself. Realizing – I don’t need to adjust to be included. I wasn’t made to be a shell of someone I used to know. It’s ok to go against the grain even when things are extreme. And it isn’t normal to relive high school drama over and over again when you can’t ever remember a time as an adult ever having any before with friends you have had for decades! DECADES! I also reminded myself of this factor – finding your people takes time!

My two hardest things since moving here that have impacted my being is: church and my inner circle. I finally figured out the latter- YAY for my people! But I’m sadly less hopeful about the church. Church in the south is TOUGH for me. So I continue to seek Jesus in my heart and finding church in his people and his paradise, instead of a man made building. 46 begins the year of fully returning to myself and letting go of all the things I tried that were never who I was or am- while new here. I need to stand firm and be exactly how God made me not a reinvented version because of submersion of environment. Even paradise can trick you into eating fruits from others trees that were never meant for you.

Today on my 46th birthday I have returned to my own tree. The one of deep roots I have grown into since birth. The one I have flourished with fruit and painfully grew from bud to flower. The only difference is I have chosen a different forest to plant myself. It may not be amongst the same oaks I once shivered in the cold with- but now in palms with the sunshine in my face.

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