Archive for May, 2012

The Pull

My experience is unique at best. Not everyone can say they have experience death while in life. However, the truth is that is the only divider, since we all will experience death someday. Although I have felt many of the blessings of having this experience, I have also felt the down fall. Down fall you may wonder?

Imagine being at social event and dropping “Yeah one day I died as a kid and came back to life”. Watch how people squirm, question, judge, and often try to contain you with words like “Mystic” or even worse, “liar”. The down fall for me has been my experience led me to a very isolated relationship with Christ. I not only didn’t know the language, I also didn’t understand the why.

As I grow more comfortable for outing myself and saying such things in public, I am also feeling the “pull” again. When I got the call to do the show I remember questioning if I could really pull through and do this. I prayed about it, and the pull I felt, the calling, was so strong I couldn’t say no. I knew the purpose of my journey to Heaven wasn’t only about ME, it was about the people my story would touch.

I mentioned before on this blog that I should have been scared out of my mind that day. That I should have been tripping over my words on camera, worried about how I looked (does the camera really add 10lbs?), and worried about how I would be received in the world. Yet I was never more calm in my life. I never spoke such truth. I certainly, never have felt more purposeful in my life.

I literally went from being 100% isolated in my experience to 100% out. Now I am feeling freed while trying to find my place, my voice, and my mission when it comes to living in love of God freely.

Today’s blessing happened on YouTube. A few people recently asked where they can view the show in its entirety. I looked it up and saw someone posted it on YouTube. I fully expected 10 hits on it–maybe. I saw 12,000 plus! Now normally this would do something to someone’s ego since our human instinct is always to fill that up! Luckily, post show I have worked hard, very hard, in keeping that in check and focusing on it is not about me. The glory of the number indicated that this show provided the exact reason I had such a pull to do. People that were meant to receive a message from my experience did! As an added bonus, I no longer have to explain myself in a quirky round about manner, and can love God freely!

Wonder where I am going with this?

The pull again is happening. I am feeling the need to read the big book! I can honestly say I have never read the Bible which sounds absurd from someone who has been in Heaven. The truth is although I have the experience, I don’t have the knowledge or the teachings I should. Thus being the reason I picked it up last night and started to read the Gospel of Matthew. Not for any other reason other than for my own. Ok, and the fact my son is entering the age for CCD and I feel I need to be an active participant when he has questions. No this doesn’t mean I am converting, this means I am taking any morsel of knowledge that fits me on my journey from any and all places I possible can.

I have also felt the need to pray for others. So please if you have something heavy on your heart and need some extra prayers, feel free to contact me.

I noticed while pondering the “pull” and the need to explore a little deeper that God has placed very intentionally certain people in my life. Doors have opened, prayers answered, and new life is brewing in my stomach with great promise of more teachings to be grateful for.

When you feel the pull to do something you must look at it with intention. If you believe it is fully God intended you must not ask why, and go for it with your best ability. The reason being we don’t ever need to know the why, just that we are doing what He has intended for us to do.

I am unsure on why my story was meant to speak to others-grief, disbelief, other isolated humans who have experienced a NDE–whatever the reason it doesn’t matter. What matters at the end of the day I did it! I delivered exactly what God wanted me to! I can now live fully with His intention.

May God bless you on your own personal journey through life, and for the deliverance in whatever you are meant to give to this world.


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