My humanness sometimes gets the best of me. I forget that it is limiting. Often times this human self, strangles the beauty of my soul to fall away and unalign with what I am made of. However, on earth I am not allowed to live as my spirit but as a human. So my humanness gets in the way of me quite often. My spirit, since dying, scourers the earth seeking anything that reminds or connects me back to heaven. My greatest joy in my even scavenger hunts. I seek them in peoples, places, and things. I find them rarely.
I have noticed in this new space that I now call home, that parts of my humanness have become highlighted. The need to be seen. The need to be understood. The need to assimilate. The undying cross to bare for all humans, the need to fit in and be included. Just writing these words absolutely exhaust me and admittedly bring me shame. Shame, because I know better. If I have learned anything in my 44 years of life it has been many will not see me, most will not understand my being, I should NOT EVER assimilate, and 99% of the time I will never “fit in”, because Jesus made me in a particular way to not fit the mold. I was born against the grain, swimming up stream, only catering to what He has called me to do.
Finding ones people can also come on varying levels of need. I can easily be a chameleon in the level of fun friendships. I can adjust to not needing to divulge all of who I am to everyone, all the time. I can just wave a hello to neighbors that simply just want to say hi. I can adjust in a group even though I prefer one on ones. I can allow space and time to grow true depth with people because most of the time, the real juicy goodness we all yearn to have in our lives, doesn’t come with fear of missing out on a party, but time diving into someones spirit not human. It can not be rushed, nor labeled as truth, without bing nurtured and honored first.
Sometimes, however, connections are made so easy and seamless, that there is no other question to what it could be other than God. Sometimes, it takes zero effort to conform or whittle my circle self peg into a square one. Sometimes, on earth, our spirits actually lead, and our humanness fall away, when we find our Godly people. Its a needle in a haystack. It is my favorite schavenger hunt that I have only won at a handful of times. However when I find that person, the winning piece is not having to explain who I am and why. They know because our souls know each other before our humans ever did.
A few months ago, I was blessed early in my move across country, to encounter a bright beaming heavenly light, surrounded by artificial earthly color. I had joined a church group of woman that met on the beach every Saturday to speak of the past weeks sermon and reflect on our lives. It was nugget of gold in my new found world. One of those Saturdays, Nicole sat across from me. I never met her, but I knew her. My intuitive self knew immediately that she would be a great friend of mine. Last time this happened to me, a now pillar of my faith circle and dear friend, was speaking at a room full of woman at my old church. When a moment like this happens I know it is only God aligning my biggest treasures. It took all of me to not stand up, press my hands to the sky, and say “Thank you Lord for doing this again”! As the group progressed, it was clear we had a lot in common, including our passion for prayer. We exchanged phone numbers and discussed briefly getting our daughters together. I texted her when I got home full of excitement and wonder. Then life happened and we lost contact for a moment. She didn’t come to any other beach church groups in the weeks after. I didn’t want to bother her by saying seemingly scary things like “Jesus told me we need to be friends”.
One day I was dropping my daughter off at basketball and I saw her light from across the parking lot. Low and behold, she was now officially the first person I ran into by accident in my new town, that wasn’t someone living in my neighborhood. She looked at me and said “aren’t you the girl I was supposed to get together with for coffee”. We laughed at the coincidence and made plans. Plans we would later cancel and reschedule a few times. Here is the thing. This lovely woman is not only a mom of three, but a nurse, and someone from this area. She doesn’t need to make time for the new girl, (which happens daily in this town by the sea), nor does she have moments to spare in her busy day to day. She still does though, because her soul knows too. We schedule a month out in hopes it works.
One day I was driving to my new gynecologists office, in a city about a half hour or so away from the town I live in. Nicoles name came in my mind and I asked God why. He said what she and I were both seeking in church, we would find together. He told me some specific things I made note to text her about later. I arrived at the office. Everyone is masked and I see this woman staring at me. The girl in me that lived in New York City wants to ask “what are you staring at?”. Luckily, before my pre-coffee grit came out, she squealed, laughed, and said “Hey girlllll”. We hugged in a waiting room full of people masked and distanced, because opps the spirit moved us. In that exact moment she was leaving, and I was coming. Another moment God was like, “Ladies I did it again and put you in the same place at the same time. Have you gotten the message yet?”.
We texted like crazy after that, because I had to discuss what the Lord had pressed into me. She randomly asked me if I knew anyone that had a litter of puppies because she was on the hunt for one to surprise her kids for Christmas. I wondered why on earth she would ask me? I was brand new to the area and barely know a soul. The next day a girl I knew from high school that lives about an hour from me posted her litter of puppies. I could not believe it. Although it didn’t end up being the puppy for her, I was very aware of the lesson. God can make anything happen. He works beyond my ability or awareness of “knowing people”, and reminded me all the answers and all the power is always in Him.
Our original plans for months have been to get our kids together, which to date we haven’t. I wonder if this is a secondary of Gods plan because it seems He keeps aligning she and I first. Not so ironically, my daughter switched schools, and now our daughters are in the same class together, noting this is a very large school system. Gods work at its best.
Recently, Nicole invited me to a church service in our quest to find the most Holy Spirit filled house of God. Which, honestly, I never thought I would miss my church so badly up north! While we praised the Lord, I felt instantly He was full of joy knowing we finally showed up purposefully together not only in a space, but HIS space.
I don’t know what mighty plans He has for us. I do know, they are vibrant and heavenly. I do know that although it was instant and seamless, we still need to make the time to nurture and honor. I do know, I already won this round of the heavenly scavenger hunt and everything else is a bonus!
Note to self and to my readers: never under estimate a “by chance” meeting. A single moment can alter everything. All things are possible when our focus is aligned with the Lord.
seekingup
Seeking Up 
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