Two months earlier then expected, I walked into the space that has gifted me life in a way that nothing ever has, and said goodbye.
My first thought, as I opened the door, was I will miss the smell of the old wood in the vestibule. I will miss how the floor creeks to the sound of a human step. I will miss a space that has worshiped the Lord since 1847. I will miss learning the gifts God made in me, in a house of worship.
I had planned on dozens of “final” healings with loyal clients. I had planned on taking time to process the ending of something that served me so well. Instead, being so close to the heart of the pandemic, I was forced to let go of all of that.
I tried to talk myself out of having the right to FEEL my feelings. How selfish is it for me to be sad about not getting the ending in Connecticut that I deserve, when people are dying every single day from this brutal virus.
Then I decided to gift myself the grace I often tell my clients to gift themselves. I decided I am only human. That I have a right to my grief. I can simultaneously grieve for the world in this time, while also honoring and feeling my own pain.
To walk out the door of a place I am 100% sure Jesus handpicked for me, I know in my heart He has another. For now Seeking Up services has a closed for good sign. However, I believe in a God that didn’t bring me here for a warm up, not to allow me to play the game.
Where ever I land, may it always and only be with Jesus and His intentions. I may cry sad tears today, but I have faith their is a tomorrow when there will be happy ones.
To all my Connecticut clients and loved ones: Thank you for seeing and honoring the Jesus in me. I love you.
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Seeking Up 
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