It’s true. I am a cross between a “woke” Californian hippy and a deeply Jesus loven Holy Spirit lit southerner, that lives in cynical, jaded New England that had a reputation for not accepting either. This makes it very difficult for someone like me, to find my space and my people. What else is new though? I was always made to go against the grain. However this past year, this was actually a favorable lesson in learning about the only one whose judgement matters. Him.
2019 was the year I stopped apologizing for it. I no longer cared that I sang worship music to loud with the windows down, nor that I admittedly have a gift to talk to dead people. I no longer feel the need to define who I am by other people’s constructs on what a “good Christian” looks like, nor do I feel compelled to define myself as a bunch of checked boxes.
I am all of the above.
In 2019 I became brave. Unapologetically – radically brave. For me- knowing from a vision He has blessed me with-this is only the start.
2019 gifted me new eyes to see that I was drowning in a career that was toxic and no longer letting me grow. It gifted me new eyes knowing that in systems, all lives are replaceable, so I could no longer live my life for a system. I needed my life to be lived for Him. When I started to pray about this, God started fo open so many doors to confirm this was the journey that was meant for me in Him. Leaving a career that had steady income, benefits, retirement, and the summers off seemed incredibly stupid to some, but it literally saved my life.
My very vibrant soul was dying and I didn’t even know it until I left.
2019 I became free.
I let the Lord lead while I trusted. I opened up a business not knowing a thing on how to do that, and continue to learn. I didn’t advertise, trusting He would send me the people He needed me to heal. I have never in my life felt more humble and more vulnerable. I was now letting the world see my giftings, that open many up to having lots of opinions on being “Christ like”. The Bible has hundreds of supernatural healings in it, we pray for them to happen all the time, but somehow humanness gets in the way when I tell people I do this for a living. Every single day I rely on Jesus to use me as a vessel. I am so blessed by this, and watching amazing things happen in people’s lives, including finding a relationship in Jesus. Yet my own church people seem to be the hardest group to convince of the radical Jesus I am encountering on a daily basis.
I keep telling myself this is ok because He has set me free to be brave. My ego doesn’t need to be stroked by my church people being in amazement on how He uses me. He uses me for the people that need Him.
My favorite story of 2019 about this was when a woman “randomly” found me on the internet (thank you Holy Spirit). She drove almost an hour to me and we had an instant connection. She sent her entire family to me, and I kidded I would end up in their Christmas card photo this year. This beautiful Jesus loving human, one day sent me extra money she called “tithing”. Why? Because she saw first hand how Jesus is working through me and felt the desire to bless my business in His name. A beautiful gift of saying “I see you Aimee- being vulnerable and brave, keep going”.
And I did. I kept going. Over a hundred healings in 2019. Each and every one completely different. Every single one Jesus showed up. Every single one, I questioned if I was worthy or knew what I was doing. Every single one, the person left with a piece they didn’t come in with, and a flooding of His love and light through my palms. I know even at 1000 I will still question if I know what I am doing, because I eat the humble pie knowing, nothing of this is me. All of it is always HIM.
When I came back from Heaven as a kid I had no idea that His question before I came back to earth, “what have you done for your fellow man”, didn’t only mean a list of good deeds as a social worker. It meant how do you live your life in my name, while being so vulnerable it aches when you show up, but willing to give your all. This love is double sided.
So upon all the December’s I have ever lived on this earth as Aimee, I can tell you I have never reached one quite like this. One that my soul literally screams out praises of grateful heart. Even the 2019 heart that was hurt by judgements of others, lost friendships, heart ache, sickness, and so many other bad news days. Because I am now living my life filled to the brim in His greatness. Knowing, I can adore Him year round, every single day. Because I took a brave yes, I let Him open me to aching vulnerability, and my livelihood actually depends on Him meeting me where I am at.
2019 – you beautiful, Holy Spirit filled love of my life, Thank you for returning me to my best version. That is me living my life through Him and for Him. May I never forget the year I was gifted this abundance.
Brave and Free, I lead by His abundant love and grace.
seekingup
Seeking Up 
Leave a Reply