The Struggle Actually IS Real.

I am seasoned in this area. I have diagnosed it and helped people through it. And still I have struggled.

I have everything going for me. A deep faith, an amazing family, friends that love me, a job that I feel needs me, and so much more. I am well educated, insanely positive, a damn good therapist, and live my life to love deeply. And still I struggle.

The ugly monster and his tricks. The days I can barely get out of bed, or the moments I wonder “would anyone really care?”. The pain unbearable. Silent and behind closed doors. Alone. The devils whispers nobody cares nor understands.

Even I had a hard time- a seasoned mental health professional- in going to my doctor when post- pardum depression had me thinking sucicial thoughts. Even I had a hard time telling my primary care physician I was so depressed I couldn’t get out of bed most days but knew I had too.

The stigma surrounding depression is much like mass shootings in this country. We hear another life lost to suicide and share on our social media feeds our thoughts and prayers. Yet silently, those of us in the muck of it- muddle through because our society demands us too. They expect us to figure it out and just “get happy”. Or … why don’t you just seek help or take medication? Or my favorite – you have such faith and love God – how could you feel this way?

I’m telling you world- as a woman with a great life, well loved, and in the mental health profession- it was incredibly hard for me. Imagine what you are asking of those that don’t have this background! You wouldn’t be telling someone with cancer to just get well already! You would have compassion and empathy. You’d hold their hand through chemo, and hug them tight.

I do not lie when I say I live and love life vibrantly and hard. However, I experience the pain of exsistence just as hard, and sometimes it swallows me whole. It doesn’t make me weak- it makes me a warrior.

Mediaction doesn’t work for me. I graduated therapy for now. I own my own tool box of coping skills (like writing, reiki, and prayer). I am healthy. I love the fresh air of the morning, and the sun shining on my face.

But I still struggle.

I don’t need your well wishes, I just need your compassion.

Love those around you- they may be silently struggling and needing you to be present with all of who you are. I am not talking your social media well wishes and a post of the sucicide hotline number pleas. They need YOU. Love them! Love them HARD. Iglnowledge the struggle! Say the I love you’s! As we have learned in the past week in the headlines- tomorrow is never promised- but this VERY moment IS and can make ALL of the difference in someone’s life.

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