God’s Will

The past few months I have prayed more than I had prayed in all the days of my life. I felt like I was at crossroads on what I should do with my life. All I knew was I wanted to serve God in any way I could, and so I focused on asking him this.

Every prayer I uttered included the words ” show me what you would like me to do. How I can best serve you. I will do whatever is your will”. And I meant it. Even if this included me going to the ends of the earth. I just wanted to do what I am destined to do.

See part of this prayer was my own ego. I wasn’t aware of it then but I was thinking these grand “what if’s”. I had received moving letters post the show, and thought maybe God wanted me to continue down the path of healing others. I concentrated more on what I thought He would like me to do, and less on what he actually wanted me to do.

While in this constant state of prayer, I had an emergency tonsillectomy that I declared being harder to recover from then a C-section. I said out loud to the universe that I would rather “have another c-section than go through a tonsillectomy again”.

The universe listened.

Around this time I declared I was done having kids. I was setting up all of these goals, and planning my future life all around my growing two kids and husband.

December rolled around and I decided I probably should go to see the doctor to assure I couldn’t get pregnant.

God is so funny.

Because this Christmas I got the biggest surprise of my life:

Baby #3. God’s Will and His exact answer to my prayer. An answer I once declared would never happen forcing me to realize it isn’t my call.

After shock, we found joy. In joy I find His light and love.

Just another reminder when you ask, you shall receive. However you might not get what you thought was the answer you wanted to hear, but instead your hearts desire which really is God’s will at best.

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