There is something to be said for being new to this game. Living my life in my truth, and pursuing my true calling. It sounds so easy/breezy, rainbows and love but really it is hard work.
For one, not everyone is open to it. Also I need to question my motives when reaching out, and keeping my ego in check. Not that I think I am better than anyone that never had a near-death experience, I just think when something spiritual major happens in your life you need to be aware of intention.
I have been struggling with this a lot lately. I have reached out way to many time to people who didn’t ask for it. Clearly I need to send myself a memo stating that not everyone that loses a loved one wants to be comforted by my experience or here how awesome heaven is.
I was handed a piece of humble pie unintentionally when I reunited with an old friend that is sick. I thought I would “help” her when in reality it was God’s way of saying “Aimee it isn’t ABOUT YOU”. My friend taught me WAY more than I taught her. She was absolutely God intended. I have since realized that ones ego can really talk you into making yourself look a fool. Every time I open my mouth to tell of my blessed experience I need to meditate on it and think “What is your intention? Is this about you?”
I was sitting at the park meditating/praying. A very open space for the public to see me full-out crisscrossed legs, palms up, and eyes closed. I am sure people saw me. For a moment I thought “I live in this town–I can’t do this”, and then I thought–what am I doing –praising God? What is embarrassing about that?
More often than not you will see me drive these days with the blinding sun in my eyes because I refuse to put down the sun visor. I drink it all in. The light only fuels your light. You will also find me often driving with a “palm up”. Sounds weird–I know. However–I assure you it is a way to accept light into yours. It is a mere reminder to live my day in light –through light–in God’s love.
I am unaware on where I am going after my truth airs on national tv. All that I do know is I no longer have to live my life a lie. I can outwardly be the best Aimee I was meant to be.
I have a lot of questions that God keeps answering through people. Just this past week Oprah’s LifeClass debuted and I nearly could keep my head above the lake of thankful tears it brought down my face. Just when I thought I couldn’t have found better tv–Miss O tops it with a flat-out riveting documentary called “Wake Up”. I knew there was a purpose for me watching it, and I walked away feeling even more confident in my truth.
I still get “Like Oprah” when I pray for what my purpose is. At one time in my life I might have thought this voice telling me this meant I would be a millionaire or be famous. I would have run with my ego and thought my life couldn’t be better. However–now I am a better seeker. A better believer. I know my “Like Oprah” is more about being a vehicle of God’s love. She and I have that in common. Today I am more proud of that, then anything else Oprah might have. We are walking similar paths, in very different ways.
I am so thankful for signs. So thankful God continues to bless me with the ability to see and read them. While holding new life this weekend I couldn’t help but think about the importance of be thankful. I also couldn’t help but think about our focus needs to shift on being purposeful and well intended.
I am new at this game. However, I am sure thanks to God’s will, I am going to be a winner at it.
It is sometimes way too easy to get caught up in the voices of my head rather than the one voice in my heart or soul. I loved and related to your story of speaking with your friend. I have to constanly remind myslef ot listen more and talk less. It was great to meet you yesterday at the BlogHer writers confernce. I’m now following your site so I can follow your very interesting journey. Thanks for a great post.